Boy Girl Non Veg sms Joke-5

Next Page

Previous

Marne Ke Baad Bhi Khada Raha

Kisi Gaon Mein Ek Aadmi Ki Malaria Se Bahut Buri Haalat Ho Chuki Thi, Aadmi Ko Doctor Ke Paas Le Jaya Gaya.
Doctor Kaafi Der Baad Operation Theater Se Bahar Aaya. Bahar Aate Hi Usne Aadmi Ki Patni Ko Bulaya.
Doctor Patni Se: “I Am So Sorry, Aapke Pati Nahi Rahe.”
Patni Shocked: “Kyaaaaaaaaa?”
Doctor Ne Dobara Hich-Kichate Hue Patni Se Kaha: “Lekin Hairani Ki Baat Hai Ki Unka Lund To Abhi Bhi Khada Hai.”
Patni Chillayi: “Kaat Kar Ussi Bhenchod Ki Gaand Mein Daal Do.”
Doctor: “Woh Kyu?”
Patni: “Poore Gaon Mein Ek Wahi Chhed (Hole) Bacha Hoga Jahan Vo Nahi Gaya Hoga.“

What If Counter Strike Ever Made In India?

If Counter Strike Ever Made In India, Radio Commands Would Be
Affirmative – Haan Be Laude
Need Backup – Gandu Aa Na Jaldi
Enemy Spotted – Dikha, Bahan Ka Lund Dikha
Negative – Maa Chuda, Sector Clear Hai Behenchod
Stick Together Team – Gaand Pe Chipke Raho
Fall Back – Piche Bhago Bhadvo
Cover Me – Kaha Mar Gaye Sab Chodu
Get Outta Here, Its Gonna Blow – Bhaago Bhen Ke Lodo, Nahi To Maa Chud Jayegi

Darshan Tu De Hi De Gariban Nu

Mandir Mein Log Bhajan Gaa Rahe The: “Darshan De Gariban Nu, Darshan De Gariban Nu.”
Ek Jatt Mandir Ke Aage Se Nikal Raha Tha Or Uski Bete Ki Bahu Ka Naam Bhi Darshan Kaur Tha
Bhajan Sun Ke Jatt Gusse Se Mandir Ke Andar Gaya Or Wo Bhi Bhajan Gaane Lag Gaya:
“Darshan Mere Munde Di Bahu,
Ohdi Tan Bas Mera Munda Hi Lau,
Baki Gall Naseeban Di,
Bhen Di Fuddi Tuhadde Warge Gareeban Di.“

A Nice Break-Up Story

Around 10:15 A Girl Get A Text From Her Boyfriend
Boy: “Hey, Its Over Now.”
Girl Texts Him Back: “What The Fuck, But What I Did To You, Why The Fuck Are You Doing This, I have Done Anything You And You Are Giving Me This.
Anyway, I Knew You Are A Bastard That’s Why I Slept With Three Of Your Friends, You Ass Whole, Now Eat My Shit.”
Boy Confused: “I Was Talking About The Movie.”
Girl: “Oh How Was It?”
Boy: “Go Fuck Your Self Bitch And Don’t See Me Your Fucking Face Again“

Baba Saxidas Ke 2013 Ke Uttam Quotes

Baba Saxidas Ke 2013 Ke Uttam Quotes
1. Insaan Ka Lund Aur Sarkari Kaam Hamesha Latakta Rehta Hai
2. Chut Aur Doodh Ke Fatne Par Hamesha Aurat Chillati Hai
3. Nai Dulhan aur Nai Gadi Kisi Dost Ko Do To Thok Ke Hi Deta Hai
4. Nayi Chut Or Bhoot Kismat Walo Ko Hi Dikhte Hai
5. Sex Or Tax Aadmi Ko Pagal Bana Dete Hai

Story Behind – Ek To Chori Upar Se Seena-Jori
Har Kahawat Ke Piche Koi Na Koi Logic Jaroor Hota Hai, Is Kahawat Ke Piche Bhi Hai, Dhyaan Se Padiye.
Ek Ladki Sadak Par Paidal Jaa Rahi Thi
Piche Se 2 Chor Bike Par Aaye Aur Us Ladki Ke Gale Se Gold Chain Kheench Kar Bhaage Or Jaate-Jaate Ladki Ke Zor Se Boobs Bhi Daba Gaye.
The Very Next Day Headlines Of News Papers Were: “Ek To Chori Upar Se Seena-Jori.“

Baat To Thik Boli Gubbarewale Ne
Ek Gubbare Waale Ki Dukan Ke Bahar Likha Tha
“Agar Apne Bacche Ko Gubbara Nahi Dila Sakte To Haraamkhoro Waqt Pe Gubbara Chadha Liya Karo.“

What Is Difference Between Sugarcane And Lund?

Question: “What Is Difference Between Sugarcane And Lund?”
Answer: “Sugarcane Ko Dho Kar Chooste Hain Aur Lund Ko Chooskar Dhote Hain“

Boys Aur Girls Ke Baat Karne Mein Fark?

Boys Aur Girls Ke Baat Karne Mein Kya Fark Hota Hai?
Girl: “Yaha Kya Kar Rahe Ho”
Boy: “Yaha Kya Maan Chuda Raha Hai”
Girl: “Maine Aap Ko Kya Kaha”
Boy: “Maine Konsi Teri Gaand Marli”
Girl: “Aap Itni Tej Kyo Chal Rahe Ho”
Boy: “Teri Gaand Mein Aag Lagi Hai Kya”
Girl: “Wo Teacher Ki Respect Karta Hai”
Boy: “Ye To Teachrs Ki Gaand Mein Ghusa Rahta Hai”
Girl: “Us Ladki Ka Character Acha Nahi”
Boy: “Ye To Raand Hai”
Girl: “Tum To Bahut Murakh Ho”
Boy: “Tu To Lodu Hai”
Girl: “Darr Lag Raha Hai”
Boy: “Gaand Fat Rahi Hai”
Girl: “Maje Mat Lo Please”
Boy: “Ungli Mat Kar Bhosdi Ke”
Girl: “Aaj To Ghar Waalon Se Dant Padi”
Boy: “Aaj To Lode Lag Gaye Bhenchod”

Ladki Aur Ladko Ka Facebook Pe Status

Ladki Ka Facebook Pe Status – Wo Bewafa Nikla.
Comments By Guys:
1. Dear, Wo Apke Layak Tha Hi Nahi.
2. Tum Kahan Wo Sala Bandar Kahan.
3. Humne To Pahle Hi Kaha, Sab Mere Jaise Nahi Hote.
4. Kabhi Hume Try Karke Dekho, Pata Chalega Bharosa Kya Hai.
5. Jo Bhi Hua Acha Hi Hua, Don’t Worry Sweetu.
But
Ladke Ka Facebook Pe Status – Wo Bewafa Nikli.
Comments By Close Friend:
1. Saale, Teri Shakal Hi Gadhe Jaisi Hai.
2. Tere Se Bas Aaj Tak Koi Pati Hai?
3. Tujh Jaiso Se Bhi Ladki Pategi.
4. Usse Teri Namardi Ka Pata Chal Gaya Hoga.
5. Tere Se Kuch Nahi Hoga Dude, Chal Ab Uska No. Mujhe De.

Aisa Kutta Naseeb Walo Ko Hi Milta Hai

Ek Pati Apni Patni Ka Janaza Le Ja Raha Tha.
Janaze Ke Aage Ek Kutta Aur Peeche Aadmiyon Ki Lambi Line Thi.
Ek Aadmi Ne Ye Dekha Aur Jab Uski Samajh Mein Na Aaya Ki Ye Kya Chakkat Hai To Jaakar Pati Se Puchha.
Aadmi: “Bhai Sahab Ye Sab Kaise Hua?”
Pati: “Ye Jo Kutta Hai, Is Ne Kaat Liya Tha”
Aadmi Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bola: “Ye Kutta Ek Din Ke Liye Udhar Mein De Do”
Pati: “Jarur, Par Peechhe Line Mein Lag Jao“

Bhabhi Ji Ne To Taang Utha Ke Di

Sharma Ji Ki Party Mein Dinner Karte Hue Verma Ji Ke Paas Mrs Sharma Akar Boli.
“Bhaisaab, Aapne To Kuch Liya Hi Nahi”
Aur Ek Chicken Ka Leg-Piece Uthha Ke Unki Plate Mein Rakh Diya.
Party Khatam Hone Par Sharma Ji Ne Verma Ji Se Puchha.
“Khana Kaisa Tha?”
Verma Ji: “Dishes To Sabhi Badiya Thi, Par End Mein Bhabhi Ji Ne Jo Taang Utha Ke Di, Maza Aa Gaya“

Only Girls Can Do That

A Refrigerator Can Change A Liquid To Solid.
A Stove Can Change A Liquid To Gas.
But
Only A Girl Can Change A Liquid To Baby

It’s Strange But Damn Very True Fact

It’s Strange But Damn Very True Fact.
Laptop Speakers Are Too Quiet For Music,
But Too Loud For Adult Movies.

Ladki Ke Ander Sabse Jayada Kya Cheez Dekhna Pasand Karte Ho?

Quiz Contest Mein Final Sawaal Puchha Gaya.
Question: “Tum Kisi Sunder Ladki Ke Ander Sabse Jayada Kya Cheez Dekhna Pasand Karte Ho?”
Award Winning Answer: “Apna Lund“

Hindi Bhasha Bhi Badi Ajeeb Hai

Hindi Bhasha Bhi Badi Ajeeb Hai.
Ghadi Kharab Ho To Kehte Hai: “Bandh Hai”
Par Agar Ladki Kharab Ho To Kahte Hai: “Chaalu Hai“

India’s Most Versatile Sound, Bhenchod

India’s Most Versatile Sound Bhenchod In Eight Different Moods
Anger: “Oye Bhenchod”
Frustration: “Sab Chutiye Hai Bhenchod”
Acceptance: “Sahi Hai Bhenchod”
Rejection: “Gand Mara Bhenchod”
Fear: “Ab Kya Hoga Bhenchod”
Sorrow: “Bhenchod Maa Behen Ek Ho Gayi”
Shock: “Bhenchod Baaaaaag Be”
And Last One Celebration: “Pio Bhenchod“

A Monkey Game

A 11 Year Old Girl Realized That She Had Started To Grow Hair Between Her Legs.
She Got Worried And Run To Asked Her Mom About Hair.
Her Mom Calmly Said: “Don’t Worry Kiddo, That Is Your Secret Place, Which We Now Refer To As “Monkey” Be Proud To Know That Your Monkey Has Grown Hair.”
That Night At Dinner Little Girl Told Her Sister: “You Know Sis, My Monkey Has Grown Hair.”
Her Sister Smiled: “That’s Nothing, Mine Is Already Eating Bananas.”
Her Mom Fainted 

Nahhh….. That Costs Too Much

A Guy Walking Down The Street Suddenly He Sees A Woman With Big & Perfect Breasts. Guy Goes To The Woman.
Guy: “Hey Miss, Would You Let Me Bite Your Breasts For $100 Dollars?”
Woman Replies: “Are You Nuts? After Saying This She Keeps Walking Away.”
Guy Runs To Her & Says Again: “Would You Let Me Bite Your Breasts For $1000 Dollars?”
Woman With Anger: “Listen You, I’m Not That Kind Of Woman! Got It?”
The Guys Still Standing There & Woman Start Walking, She Just Gone Few Yards Away From That Boy.
She Thinks About It For A While And Says: “Hmmm, $1000 Dollars, Eh? Ok, Just Once, But Not Here. Let’s Go To That Dark Alley Over There.”
So They Go Into The Alley, Where She Takes Off Her Blouse & The Boy Starts Kissing, Licking, Puts His Face In Them, Pressing Them Hard For 10 Minutes, But Not Biting Them.
The Woman Finally Gets Annoyed And Asks: “Well? Are You Gonna Bite Them Or Not?”
Guy Replies: “Nahhh….. That Costs Too Much.“ 

Budhon Ko Sikhana Itna Asaan Kahaan

Ek Baar Gaanv Mein Bade Budhon Ko Padhane Ki Government Ne Scheme Chalai.

Ek Class Mein Teacher Padhane Laga Aur Bola: “A For Apple, B For Ball, C For Cat”

Lekin Wo Bechare Samajh Nahi Pa Rahe The To Teacher Ne Dehati Tarike Se Padhana Theek Samjha Aur Padhana Shuru Kiya.

Teacher Bola: “A For Arshad Ki Maan, B For Begum Ki Maan, M For Mahmood Ki Maan, N For Nasruddin Ki Maan, Z For Zahid Ki Maan”

Aise Hi Padha Kar Ek Din Test Lene Ki Sochi, Teacher Ne Board Par W Likhkar Ek Ko Khada Karke Puchha.

Teacher: “Batao Ye Kya Hai?”

Ek Utha Aur Bola: “Ji Ye Lag To Mahmood Ki Maan Rahi Hai Lekin Iski To Koi Taangon Ko Ulta Kar Gaya“

Girlfriend Ko Khoon Ka Love Letter Likhna Hai

Pappu Ek Din Blood Bank Mein Gaya Aur Udhar Usne Ek Staff Ke Aadmi Se Puchha
Pappu: “Mujhe Ek Bottle Blood Chahiye”
Aadmi: “Blood Group Bolo”
Pappu: “Koi Bhi Chalega”
Aadmi Hairani Se: “Arey Aisi Kaise Chalega?”
Pappu: “Yaar Girlfriend Ko Love Letter Likhna Hai, Samjha Kar“

Wife Rocked, Hubby Shocked

Husband Wife Ke Maze Lete Hue Bola
Husband: “Darling, You Have A Big Pichhwada Like A Tandoor”
Wife Kuch Nahi Boli
At Night He Asks Wife To Have Sex
Wife: “Kya Fayda Bhosdi Ke?? Ek Jhaant Se Kabab Ke Liye Kya Tandoor Jalana”
Wife Rocked…. Hubby Shocked…!!

What A Penis Is?

One Day At School Little Johnny And A Boy (His Class Mate) Talking To Each Other.
Boy: “Hey Johnny Do You Know What A Penis Is?”
Little Johnny: “I Don’t Know But I Would Find Out And Return Tomorrow With The Answer.
That Night Little Johnny Went To His Dad: “Dad, I Want To Know Something.”
Dad: “Yeah Sure My Son.”
Little Johnny: “Dad, What Is A Penis?”
Dad: “Look Johnny I Can Tell You But It Would Be Better If I Showed You.”
So, Johnny’s Dad Took Out His Penis And Told Johnny: “This Is A Penis My Son, In Fact If You Take A Good Look You Will See This Is A Perfect Penis.”
So The Very Next Day At School That Boy Again Asked Johnny: “Hey Did You Found Out What Is A Penis?”
Johnny: “Yeah I Do But It Would Be Better If I Showed You Rather Than Tell You.
In Lunch Break They Went Behind The School And Johnny Took Out His Penis & Tell That Boy: “This Is A Penis, In Fact If It Were Three Inches Shorter It Would Be A Perfect Penis.“

Or What?

The Man Tells His Doctor That His Wife Hasn’t Wanted To Have Sex With Him For The Past 7 Months.
The Physician Tells The Man To Bring His Wife In So He Can Talk To Her.
When The Wife Comes To Office, The Doctor Asks Her Why Doesn’t She Want To Have Sex With Her Husband Any More.
The Wife Replies:For The Last 7 Months, Every Morning I Take A Cab To Work. I Don’t Make Much Money And My Husband Doesn’t Give More Than Bus Fare, So The Cab Driver Always Asks Me: “So Are You Going To Pay Today Or What?”
I Always Give Him An “Or What”.
That Makes Me Late To Work, I’m Late, So The Boss Asks Me: “So Are We Going To Dock Your Salary, Or What?”
That’s Another “Or What.”
On The Way Home, I Take The Cab And Again I Don’t Have Any Money So The Cab Driver Asks Me: “So Are You Going To Pay This Time Or What?”
And, Again, I Do An “Or What”
So You See, Doctor, When I Get Home I’m All Tired Out And I Don’t Want Sex Any More.
The Doctor Thinks For A Second. “So, Are We Going To Tell Your Husband Or What?“

These Guys All Are Dogs

A Girl Updates Her Status On Facebook
Met My Ex Boyfriend Today, Things Went Well
Then Suddenly He Said, He Would Gift Me A iPhone 5 If I Would Have Sex With Him One Last Time
These Guys All Are Dogs
- Sent Via iPhone 5

Inkar Karti Thi Wo Hamari Mohabbat Se

Chodumal Khan Sahab Ka Apni Mahbooba Ke Liye Kaha Gaya Ek Sher
Ghar Se Bahar Wo Nakab Mein Nikli,
Sari Gali Unki Firak Me Nikli,
Inkar Karti Thi Wo Hamari Mohabbat Se,
Aur
Hamari Hi Tasvir Unki “Bra” Se Nikli.

Ladki Se Pyaar Ka Izhaar Kaise Karvaye?

Ladka Apni Pados Ki Ladki Se: “I Love You”
Ladki Muskurate Hue: “Sorry, Main Kisi Aur Se Pyar Karti Hoon”
Ladka Udas Ho Gaya Phir Achanak Bhagne Laga Aur Bola
Ladka: “Teri Mummy Ko Bataunga – Teri Mummy Ko Bataunga”
Ladki: “Ruk Ja Kamine I Love You 2“

When Boys And Girls Miss Each Other

True Factor Of Boys And Girls Explained By William Sexfear When They Miss Each Other.

When A Girl Misses Her Love …… Her Heart Pain.

But When A Guy Misses His Love …… His Hands Pain.

How Can You Say That?

Doctor To His Patient: “How Can You Say That Your Girlfriend Has 2 Holes In Her Ass?”
Confused Johnny: “Whenever I Go To A Party With Her, People Say, “Here Comes The Sexy Babe With 2 Assholes.“

Irony Of Life Explained In Two Lines

Irony Of Life:
Wives Don’t Get Pregnant After Many Attempts
And
Girlfriends Get Pregnant Even After Taking Precautions 

Comment / Send Message

LoveSuresh-Boy Girl Non Veg sms Joke-5, Created and Uploaded on 04-02-2014