Lovesuresh - Non Veg Stories-7
Santa Ko Ek Sunder Si Ladki Pasand Aa Gayi, Aur Usne Us Se Baatchit Shuru Ki
Ladki Asal Mein Ek Call Girl Thii Par Ye Baat Santa Ko Pata Nahi Thi
Dono Mein Prem Pyar Kuch Din Chala Aur Ladki Bhi Santa Ke Bholepan Se Imress Ho Ke Usko Pyar Karne Lagi
Ek Din Satna Ne Usko Bol Diya Ki Mere Se Shadi Kar Le.
Ab Bechari Ladki Pareshan Ho Gayi Ki Isko To Pahli Rat Mein Hi Pata Lag Jayega Ki Main Badi Buri Tarha Se Chudi Hun
Ladki Ne Apni Saheli Se Ye Baat Discuss Ki, Saheli Ne Idea Diya
Saheli: “Jaisi Hi Vo Tere Andar Dale Jor Jor Se Chikhna Shuru Kar Dena Aur Rone Lag Jana”
Ladki: “Haan Ye Baat Thik Hai, Is Se Usko Lagega Ki Main Virgin Hun”
Ye Soch Ke Ladki Ne Santa Se Shadi Kar Li
Suhagrat Wale Din Santa Ne Jaisi Hi Uske Ander Dala Ladki Chikhne Lag Gayi
Santa Ne Thoda Sa Aur Ander Dala To Ladki Zor Zor Se Rone Ka Drama Karne Lag Gayi
Santa Ne Pucha: “Janu Kya Hua Rone Kyu Lag Gayi?”
Ladki: “Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai Ji, Meri Jaan Nikle Ja Rahi Hai”
Ye Sun Ke Santa Bhi Zor Zor Se Rone Lag Gaya
Ladki Ne Hairan Hoke Santa Se Pucha
Ladki: “Arrey Aap Kyu Rone Lag Gaye?”
Santa: “Bhonsdi Ki, Mere To Tatte Tak Ander Chale Gaye Hai Isliye Ro Raha Hun“
Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Farak?
Baba Saxidas Ke Pass Log Tarha Tarha Ke Sawal Leke Aate The
Ese Hi Ek Din Unka Ek Naya Bhakt Aya Aur Unke Charan Saparsh Karke Bola
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Aap Mahan Hai, Aapne Bade Logo Ko Gyan Diya Hai, Mere Bhi Ek Question Ka Hal Dijiye Na”
Baba Muskurake Bole: “Jarur Denge Bachha, Bolo Kya Hai Tumhari Duvidha?”
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Ye Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Kya Farak Hai?”
Baba Ji Ne Kuch Socha Aur Bole: “Bachha, Hum Answer To De Denge Par Iske Liye Tumhe 2 Kam Karne Honge.”
Bhakt: “Baba Ji Kya?”
Baba Ji: “Pahle Apne Ghar Ja Aur Apni Biwi Se Puch Ki Agar Tujhe Amitabh Bhachan 50 Lakh Rs De To Kya Tu Uske Sath Sirf Ek Raat So Legi?”
Bhakt Ne Socha Ye Kya Question Hai Is Se Kaisi Pata Lagega Ki Kalpana Aur Haqeeqat Mein Kya Farak Hai, Par Fir Bhi Ghar Gaya Aur Puch Ke Aya
Baba Ne Pucha: “Kya Jawab Mila?”
Bhakt: “Ji, Usne Khush Hoke Bola Ki Wow 50 Lakh Rs Ek Rat Ke Mil Jayenge, Vo Bhi Amitabh Bhachan Jaise Celebrity Ke Sath Sone Ka, Tum To Sari Zindagi Din Rat Naukri Karo Tab Bhi Itna Nahi Kama Sakte, Main Ek Rat Amitabh Ke Sath Sone Ko Tyar Hun”
Baba Ji: “Hmm, Ja Ab Apni Beti Se Puch Ke Aa Ki, Agar Usko 50 Lakh Rs Mile Aur Ek Rat Shahrukh Khan Ke Sath Sone Ka Moka Mile To So Legi”
Bhakt Pareshan Hua Ki Ye Sab Kya Chakkar Hai Fir Bhi Baba Ke Sath Bahas To Kar Nahi Sakta Tha, Ghar Pahuncha Aur Beti Se Bhi Puch Ke Aa Gaya Aur Baba Ko Bola
Bhakt: “Baba Ji, Vo To Apne Bed Se Uchhal Gayi Aur Boli, Kyu Nahi Dad Shahrukh Ke Sath Sone Ka 50 Lakh Milega To, Main Ameer Aur Apne Friend Mein Famous Ho Jaungi”
Bhakt Ne Pareshan Ho Ke Pucha: “Baba In Sab Baato Ka Mere Sawal Se Kya Lena Dena Hai”
Baba Ji: “Samajh Bachha, Kalpana Mein Tere Ghar 1 Crore Rs Pada Hai, Aur Haqeeqat Mein Tu 2 Randiyo Ke Sath Rah Raha Hai“
Ameer Ban Ne Ki Kitaab
Santa Ne Apni Bevkoofiyo Ki Vajah Se Sara Paisa uda Diya Tha
Ab Bechare Ke Pass Pese Nahi Bache The Aur Vo Koi Jugad Soch Raha Tha Ki Kahi Se Paisi Mil Jaye
Ese Hi Raste Mein Jate Hue Use Ek Baba Mila, Usne Apni Samsya Baba Ko Batayi
Baba Bola: “Meri Teri Samsya Hal Kar Sakta Hun”
Santa Khush Hoke: “Achha?”
Baba: “Haan, Mere Pass Ek Kitab Hai Uske Ander Ameer Hone Ke Tarike Likhe Hai, Jis Se Tum 5 Dino Mein Ameer Ban Jaoge”
Santa: “Baba Mujhe Vo Kitab Dijiye Na”
Baba: “Bachha Us Kitab Ki Keemat 5000 Rs Hai”
Ab Bechare Santa Ke Pass Paise Nahi The Fir Bhi Usne Baba Ko Kaha
Santa: “Baba Aap 10 Minutes Rukiye Mein Abhi Paisi Leke Aata Hun”
Santa Ne Apne Sare Dosto Ko Bola Aur Kisi Tarha Se Paisi Ikathe Kiye Aur Baba Ke Pass Aa Gaya
Santa: “Lo Baba, Main 5000 Rs Le Aaya Hun”
Baba: “Beta Le Kitab, Par Meri Ek Sharat Hai Is Kitab Ka Akhiri Page Puri Kitab Pade Bina Nahi Kholna”
Santa Hairani Se: “Kyu Baba?”
Baba: “Bachha Bola Na, Agar Tune Pahle Page Khol Liya To Teri Gaand Fatt Jayegi”
Santa Ne Kaha Chalo Thik Hai Nahi Kholta.
Ghar Aake Usne Kitab Padni Shuru Kar Di.
Par Jaisi Ki Aap Jaante Hai Ki Santa Ki Gaand Mein Khujli Hai, Usne Thodi Si Kitab Padne Ke Baad Socha Ki Akhiri Page Khol Hi Leta Hun
Aur Esa Sochte Hue Usne Akhiri Ka Page Khol Liya
Aur Dosto Santa Ki Gaand Vakiye Mein Fatt Gayi
Us Kitab Ka Keemat 15 Rs Thi..
To Ye Tha Ameer Ban Ne Ka Tarika, Par Santa Ka Nahi Baba Ka
Bachha Kala Hoga Ya Gora?
Ek Madrassi Ki Nayi Nayi Shadi Hui, Aur Vo Biwi Ko Leke Honeymoon Manane Train Mein Ja Raha Tha.
Train Mein Sath Wali Seat Par Ek Angrej Bhi Betha Tha.
Madrasi Ke Dimag Mein Aya Ki Agar Main Apni Biwi Ka Sex Is Se Karwa Lu To Bachha Gora Paida Hoga
Madrassi Ne Angrej Se Puchha: “Kya Tum Meri Biwi Ke Sath Sex Karoge?”
Angrej Ne Khush Ho Ke Kaha: “Jarur, Kyu Nahi”
Angrej Ne Ek Baar Sex Kar Liya
Par Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Karva Leta Hu,
Angrej Ne Phir Se Uski Biwi Ke Sath Sex Kia,
Madrassi Ne Sochha Ek Baar Aur Ho Jaye Toh Pakka Ho Jayga,
Madraasii Ne Angrej Se Kaha: “Ek Baar Aur Kar Lo”
Angrej: “Nahhi, Ab Nai Kar Sakta”
Angrej Muskurate Hue: “Kyunki Mere Pass Sirf 2 Hi Condoms The“
Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.
Ek High Court Ka Judge Kahi Ja Raha Tha Ki Jungle Ke Raste Meun Uski Car Kharab Ho Gayi
Door Tak Nazar Daudayi To Ek Jagah Bulb Jalta Dikhai Diya, Judge Raat Wahi Gujarne Ke Irade Se Udhar Chal Pada
Knock Kiya To Andar Se Aurat Ki Aawaz Aay: “Kaun Hai?”
Judge: “Main High Court Ka Judge Hun, Meri Car Kharab Ho Gayi Hai So Main Raat Gujarna Chahta Hun Yaha”
Darwaja Khula Aur Saamne Ek Sexy Aurat Khadi Thi
Aurat: “Mere Paas Ek Hi Room Hai Aur Bed Bhi Ek Hai”
Judge: “Aap Chinta Na Kare Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.”
Dono Jab Sone Ke Liye Bistar Par Pahunche To
Aurat: “Mujhe Sirf Bra Aur Painty Mein Sone Ki Aadat Hai?”
Judge: “Aap Jaise Chahe Soye, Main High Court Ka Judge Hun Aapko Koi Pareshani Nahi Hogi.”
Aurat Ne Sare Kapde Utare Aur Bra And Panty Mein Let Gayi Aur Thodi Der Baad Boli
Aurat: “Mujhe Saath Mein Lete Insaan Se Lagg Ke Aur Uske Uper Taang Rakh Ke Sone Ki Adat Hai”
Judge: “Madam Aap Jaise Marji Soiye Mujhe Koi Problame Nahi Main High Cort Ka Judge Hun.”
Raat Gujar Gaye Subah Judge Sahab Bahar Baithe Chai Pee Rahe The To Unhone Dekha Ki Us Aurat Ne 2 Murge Aur 10 Murgiya Paal Rakhi Thi
Jinme Se Ek Murga Jo Langda Tha, Wo Sab Murgiyo Ke Piche Bhag Raha Tha Aur Dusra Ek Murga Chupchap Baitha Tha
Judge Se Ye Dekh Kar Raha Nahi Gaya
Judge: “Ye Dusra Murga Chupchap Baitha Hai.. Kya Ye Bimar Hai?”
Aurat: “Nahi …. Ye High Court Ka Judge Hai“
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her .
Shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop that
towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
She is a womanIf you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So damning, yet so wonderful
So confusing, yet so desirable... ...